450+ Monday Jokes to Brighten Your Week with Laughter

Looking for some Monday jokes to kickstart your week with a smile? Monday jokes are the perfect way to lighten the mood and make your day more fun. Whether you’re looking for funny Monday jokes to share with friends or need Monday jokes for work, there’s something for everyone. These jokes are sure to bring laughter and help you get through the toughest day of the week.

From Monday dad jokes to jokes about Monday, these hilarious jokes will make you forget it’s the beginning of the workweek. Funny Monday jokes can brighten up your day and give you a reason to smile. So, if you’re in need of a little laughter, check out these Monday jokes to keep your spirits high. With so many Monday jokes to choose from, you’ll always have a reason to laugh and start your week off right.

Table of Contents

I. Monday One Liner Jokes

Monday Jokes hit hard, but these one-liners hit harder. They’re short, snappy, and perfect for battling the Monday blues with a laugh. Whether you’re at work or still in weekend mode, these puns will perk you up instantly.

Monday is proof that weekends are way too short.
I haven’t had my coffee yet, approach at your own risk, it’s Monday.
Mondays are like math, confusing and full of problems.
If Monday had a face, I’d give it the side-eye.
I whisper “just five more minutes” to my alarm every Monday.
Monday? More like Mon-daze.
My motivation on Mondays is on a coffee break.
Is it Monday again or still?
Monday: the day my coffee needs a coffee.
Mondays are when I pretend to work and work to pretend.
My brain’s still on weekend mode, please hold.
Monday feels like a speed bump in a joyride.
I have a case of the Mondays, and it’s terminal.
Mondays are like exes: hard to forget, easy to hate.
I wish Monday was optional.
“New week, new me?” More like “new week, same tired soul.”
If Monday were a drink, it’d be unsweetened iced coffee.
Mondays are my cardio, just from dragging myself out of bed.
I put the “meh” in Monday.
Mondays are the soggy cereal of the week.
I’m not ready to Monday yet.
If Monday had a slogan, it’d be “Why though?”
Mondays always show up uninvited.
Can we uninstall Monday and reinstall it? I think it has a virus.
On Mondays, even my shadow doesn’t want to show up.
Monday mornings: powered by caffeine and regret.
Monday called, it wants its happiness back.
Monday’s like a traffic jam in my brain.
If Monday were a person, we’d have trust issues.
Mondays make me question all my life choices.

II. Monday Jokes Q&A

Q&A jokes about Monday make the struggle a little more bearable. These playful setups and clever punchlines turn every sigh into a snort-laugh. Get ready to question everything, especially Monday’s existence.

Q: Why did Monday apply for therapy?
A: Because everyone hates it.
Q: What’s Monday’s favorite horror movie?
A: The Return of the Alarm Clock.
Q: How does Monday feel about weekends?
A: Totally jealous.
Q: What do you call someone who smiles on Monday?
A: Suspicious.
Q: Why don’t Mondays go to parties?
A: They always bring bad vibes.
Q: Why did the coffee file a complaint on Monday?
A: It’s tired of being overworked.
Q: How does Monday introduce itself?
A: “Brace yourself.”
Q: What’s Monday’s spirit animal?
A: A sloth with a grudge.
Q: Why are Mondays bad at relationships?
A: They always start off wrong.
Q: What’s a Monday’s favorite dance?
A: The No-Motivation Shuffle.
Q: Why did the calendar cry?
A: It saw Monday coming.
Q: What did Monday say to the weekend?
A: “Tag, you’re out.”
Q: Why did the computer crash on Monday?
A: It just couldn’t even.
Q: How do you fix a Monday?
A: With a time machine.
Q: What’s Monday’s favorite song?
A: “Work, Work, Work, Work, Work.”
Q: Why did Monday flunk school?
A: It always comes too early.
Q: What’s Monday’s biggest fear?
A: Happy people.
Q: What did the bed say to Monday?
A: “Let them go, they’re not worth it.”
Q: How does Monday flirt?
A: Badly and at 6 AM.
Q: Why did Monday start a support group?
A: To talk about being unwanted.
Q: Why did Monday get a ticket?
A: For crashing the weekend.
Q: How does Monday prank us?
A: By resetting our alarm clocks.
Q: What did the boss say on Monday?
A: “Smile, it confuses people.”
Q: Why did Monday bring coffee to the meeting?
A: It needed backup.
Q: Why did Monday go viral?
A: Because misery loves company.
Q: What do Mondays and traffic jams have in common?
A: Both slow down your happiness.
Q: What’s Monday’s catchphrase?
A: “Ready or not, here I come.”
Q: Why did the employee ghost Monday?
A: Mental health day.
Q: What do you call Monday in disguise?
A: Still Monday.
Q: Why did the alarm clock feel bad on Monday?
A: It knew what it was about to do.

You can also read about: 450+ Mexican Jokes That Will Make You Laugh and Brighten Your Day

III. Funny Monday Jokes for Everyone

Whether you’re a student, a parent, or someone pretending to work, these Monday jokes are universal. They speak one language: sarcasm. So grab your coffee and dive into a hilarious start to the week.

Mondays are like unpaid internships, too much work, zero reward.
I need a six-month vacation… twice a year.
Monday: when your pillow begs you not to leave.
If Monday had a flavor, it’d be broccoli-flavored toothpaste.
I thought I quit this job every Sunday night.
Mondays are like Mondays, enough said.
I survived Monday. Barely. But still.
Mondays are great… said no one ever.
My get-up-and-go on Monday got up and left.
I’d trade five Mondays for one Friday.
I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed, Monday just flipped it.
Monday is that ex who keeps showing up uninvited.
I’m not saying Monday’s evil, but it definitely needs an exorcism.
The only good thing about Monday? It ends.
Monday morning checklist: 1. Cry 2. Coffee 3. Repeat
Mondays are like software updates, long, annoying, and unavoidable.
I planned to conquer the world, then Monday happened.
If Monday were a dish, it’d be burnt toast.
My brain’s buffering, it must be Monday.
Mondays are my villain origin story.
Someone please mute Monday.
Even Google doesn’t have answers for Monday feelings.
Monday should be optional, like pop quizzes and flossing.
My calendar refuses to acknowledge Mondays anymore.
Mondays are like hangovers without the fun before.
If “meh” were a day, it’d be Monday.
I need a password to face Monday: caffeine123.
Monday: when Wi-Fi is strong, but the will to work is weak.
I got 99 problems, and 86 of them begin with Monday.
Mondays are the horoscopes of the week, predictably bad.

IV. Short Monday Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Need a laugh before your coffee kicks in? These short Monday jokes are easy to remember and perfect to share. Quick, witty, and full of sarcasm, they’ll lift your mood faster than your third espresso.

Monday: nature’s cruel joke.
I’m not ready, and Monday knows it.
Monday called, declined.
Weekend, why did you ghost me?
Mondays are just Friday’s evil twin.
If Monday had a smell, it’d be burnt toast.
Me: emotionally unavailable until Tuesday.
I survived Monday, barely.
Monday is like a soggy fry.
Why isn’t there a snooze button for Mondays?
Mondays are my weekly villain.
I speak fluent Monday groan.
Current mood: permanently stuck on Sunday.
If Monday had a face, I’d block it.
Mondays should come with a warning label.
I’m in a complicated relationship with Monday.
Monday, you’re not the boss of me, oh wait, yes you are.
Mondays are like laundry, never-ending and depressing.
Monday’s goal: destroy morale.
Monday, meet sarcasm.
My energy level on Mondays is legally asleep.
If I ran the world, Monday wouldn’t exist.
Mondays are like software bugs.
Monday’s motto: “Because happiness is overrated.”
Monday is allergic to joy.
If coffee were a person, it’d slap Monday for me.
No one asked for Monday, yet here it is.
I need a weekend from my Monday.
Even my memes don’t want to work today.
Mondays: where dreams go to nap.

V. Clever Monday Jokes to Share

If you like your Monday Jokes with a side of wit, these clever quips are just what your Monday ordered. Share them with friends, coworkers, or anyone dragging through the day. Smart humor for slow starts!

Monday: a word invented to sell more coffee.
Mondays are proof time travel is real, we keep reliving the same nightmare.
Monday is like a phone with no signal, frustrating and pointless.
If Monday were a stock, I’d short it.
Mondays are when your weekend personality logs off.
Monday is the universe’s way of asking, “Are you still lazy?”
If procrastination had a holiday, it’d be Monday.
Mondays age me in dog years.
I put my weekend in airplane mode, and Monday still found me.
Monday is the spam email of the week.
They say “new week, new goals,” but my only goal is survival.
I treat Mondays like a hot potato, toss it and run.
Mondays are like a plot twist no one wanted.
If life were a movie, Monday would be the villain with a bad haircut.
Monday makes “Taco Tuesday” feel like a rescue mission.
Mondays are like unskippable ads in your favorite playlist.
The only thing I schedule on Mondays is regret.
Monday is basically Friday in denial.
If sleep were currency, I’d be bankrupt every Monday.
Monday is proof karma forgot about me.
Mondays are made for caffeine and damage control.
Even AI would glitch on Mondays.
I’d file a restraining order against Monday if I could.
Monday’s motto? “Lower expectations and disappoint accordingly.”
If success had a Kryptonite, it’d be Monday.
Mondays make me question the laws of time and happiness.
A smooth Monday is just Tuesday in disguise.
If Mondays were movies, they’d be horror-comedies.
My emotional support system crashes every Monday.
Mondays have the personality of a soggy Post-it.

VI. Best Monday Jokes for the Office

Nothing bonds coworkers like laughing through the Monday chaos. These office-friendly Monday Jokes are clean, clever, and totally relatable for anyone stuck in a cubicle with a coffee cup bigger than their will to work.

My inbox has more drama than a reality show, hello, Monday!
Monday meetings should come with snacks and therapy.
I accidentally replied-all to a Monday.
The only thing I file on Mondays is complaints.
Monday dress code: corporate sadness.
I need a raise just for surviving Mondays.
If Monday were a coworker, I’d block them.
Office rule: Don’t ask questions until coffee is fully absorbed.
Mondays turn my keyboard into a nap mat.
Monday: the work version of cold leftovers.
If Excel could speak, it’d scream on Mondays.
I came, I yawned, I emailed, typical Monday.
Can we CC the weekend on this meeting?
Monday emails should come with trigger warnings.
My to-do list is judging me, especially on Mondays.
Even the water cooler hates Mondays.
“Let’s circle back”, classic Monday phrase.
If I had a dollar for every Monday groan, I’d retire.
Mondays are like that one intern, eager but exhausting.
Monday meetings: where productivity goes to nap.
This coffee is strong, but Monday is stronger.
I’m not ignoring emails, I’m Monday-ing.
Workplace rule: sarcasm is my Monday love language.
Mondays are why Wi-Fi and patience both crash.
I didn’t choose the Monday life, the calendar did.
The only KPI I’m hitting today is caffeine intake.
Monday’s an HR violation waiting to happen.
I have trust issues, and Monday started them.
If office chairs could talk, they’d cry on Mondays.
“Happy Monday” is a contradiction, Karen.

VII. Lighthearted Monday Jokes to Laugh At

Starting the week with a smile makes all the difference. These Monday Jokes are gentle on the soul and guaranteed to bring a chuckle or two as you ease into Monday. Perfect for lighthearted moments when you need a quick pick-me-up!

I’m not a morning person, but Monday made me one, out of necessity.
Monday’s job? To remind me how much I love weekends.
Why did Monday break up with Sunday? It’s complicated.
I’m not saying I hate Mondays, but I wouldn’t mind if they took a vacation.
Mondays are just a warm-up for Tuesday.
I’ve never met a Monday I didn’t want to hug… with a pillow.
Mondays are my motivation to never make weekend plans again.
Monday, you deserve a high five… in the face… with a chair.
I wish Monday was a person so I could unfollow them.
Monday: because life needed more drama.
I need coffee the way I need air, especially on Mondays.
Monday should come with a snooze button for my whole life.
Monday’s a reminder that we all need therapy, especially the weekend.
Don’t worry, Monday, no one’s really ready for you either.
Mondays are like bad hair days, everyone has them.
Monday is the most confusing day. It’s not a weekend, it’s not a Friday, what even is it?
Mondays are when my brain needs a GPS.
Why is Monday the most socially awkward day? Because everyone needs to adjust.
Monday morning feels like a heavy blanket of responsibility.
The best part about Monday? It eventually ends.
Mondays are like the first pancake, rough.
Mondays are nature’s way of telling you, “You had too much fun.”
Monday should come with a “maybe tomorrow” warning.
You know it’s Monday when coffee is your best friend.
Monday is proof that time doesn’t heal all wounds.
I’m in a long-term relationship with my bed, until Monday morning.
Monday, you are the pothole in my weekend.
I love Mondays, said no one ever.
Mondays are proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
Monday’s my excuse to take it easy until further notice.

VIII. Quick Monday Jokes for a Smile

Sometimes, all you need is a quick quip to snap you out of the Monday morning slump. These Monday Jokes are short, snappy, and perfect for when you need a burst of energy in no time!

Monday’s forecast: 100% chance of coffee.
Mondays: the reason I’m always late to work.
I’d rather sleep through Monday than face it.
I don’t mind Mondays, if it’s Friday tomorrow.
Monday is like a flat tire; it just stops everything.
Can we skip Monday and go straight to taco night?
Monday’s the ultimate test of your “I love my job” skills.
Why does Monday feel like a recurring nightmare?
Monday’s my emotional support animal.
I’m in a committed relationship with Monday, and by that, I mean it’s complicated.
Mondays are like a bad breakup, full of regret.
Monday: the awkward cousin of Friday.
If you love Mondays, you’re probably lying.
Monday is a reminder that I’m still working on my “morning person” goals.
Can Monday just be a dream?
Mondays should come with a free vacation.
I’m too busy surviving Monday to function.
Why do Mondays feel like a group project with no group?
Monday’s job is to give you an existential crisis.
Mondays should be optional, like pants.
Monday called. I told it to come back when I’m ready.
Monday: proof that no good deed goes unpunished.
I like my weekends like I like my coffee, long and strong.
Mondays are when the coffee is stronger than my will to be productive.
If Monday had a resume, it would list “kill joy” as its main skill.
I need a nap just thinking about Monday.
Monday’s a reminder that I can never have enough coffee.
Monday’s motto: Let’s start with a grumpy face.
Monday: because Tuesday was too close to Friday.
Monday is the real reason I need a vacation.

IX. Monday Jokes to Kickstart Your Week

Kickstarting your week with a burst of laughter makes everything a little easier to face. These Monday jokes will have you ready to tackle your tasks with a smile on your face and humor in your heart.

Monday: the first day of the rest of my procrastination.
Monday is proof that dreams die early.
The best part about Monday? Watching it end.
I had a great weekend; it’s just Monday that’s the problem.
Monday: the reason for all my coffee breaks.
Monday’s mission is to remind me of my unpaid overtime.
I’d rather deal with Monday than a flat tire, barely.
Mondays are like taxes, unavoidable.
Monday should come with an option to “skip this week.”
Monday’s already here. Great. I’ll go back to bed.
Monday’s goal: to make you question every decision you’ve made.
Monday’s the reason my weekend dreams are always crushed.
If Monday were a TV show, it’d be a rerun of bad decisions.
Monday brings back all my unresolved issues, like laundry.
Monday morning meetings should be classified as cruel and unusual punishment.
Monday: the ultimate productivity killer.
Mondays are proof that nothing good can come from working on a Sunday night.
Monday mornings should come with a warning label: “May cause stress.”
Monday is like a bad phone update, you never asked for it.
Mondays make me think I’m allergic to productivity.
Monday is my least favorite reminder that I’m an adult.
Monday should be the first day of a new holiday, “National Nap Day.”
Monday: when you realize your bed is your true soulmate.
Mondays are like math class, they don’t make sense, but you have to deal with them.
I need a weekend to recover from my Monday.
Monday should be followed by a “skip” button.
Monday mornings are like broken alarms, never quite right.
Monday makes me feel like I need to call in “emotionally unavailable.”
Mondays are like surprise tests, no one’s ready.
The only thing I can do on Mondays is count down until the weekend.

X. Family-Friendly Monday Jokes

These Monday jokes are perfect for the whole family. Whether you’re at home, on the way to school, or in the middle of a family meal, these jokes are sure to bring some smiles without the need for an age disclaimer. Fun, clean, and ready to share!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other on Mondays? They don’t have the guts!
What did the coffee say to the sugar on Monday? “You make life sweet!”
Why did the student bring a ladder to school on Monday? To go to high school!
What’s a Monday’s favorite thing to do? Sit back and watch everyone else groan.
What do you call a bear on a Monday? A grizzly!
Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? It was two-tired.
What did the flower say to Monday? “Stop making me bloom before coffee!”
Why was the computer so cold on Monday? It left its Windows open!
How do cows feel on Monday mornings? They’re udderly exhausted!
What did the clock say to Monday? “Time to get to work!”
Why did the math book look so sad on Monday? It had too many problems.
How do you make a tissue dance on Monday? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the baseball team always lose on Monday? They couldn’t catch a break!
Why don’t you ever tell secrets on Monday? Because Monday always leaks!
What do you call a fish that plays basketball? A rebounder, especially on Monday!
Why did the student eat his homework on Monday? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What did the pencil say to the paper on Monday? “You’re a bit too sharp for me!”
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice on Monday!
How does a lion like to start his Monday? With a big roar!
What’s a Monday morning without coffee? Unbearable!
How does a penguin feel on Monday? A little down, but still sliding along!
What did the cow say on Monday morning? “Moo-ve it, it’s Monday!”
Why do dogs love Monday mornings? Because they’re always ready for a walk!
Why don’t you ever trust a Monday morning? Because it’s always suspiciously early!
How do you make a Monday fly by? Have a fun weekend first!
Why do chickens never mind Mondays? Because they’re always on egg-citement!
What does a bear do on Monday? He gets his “paws” to work!
How do you know it’s Monday at a bakery? The dough is a little more tired.
Why did the pencil skip Monday school? It didn’t feel quite “pointed” enough!
What do cats think of Mondays? They give it the “stare of disapproval.”

XI. Silly Monday Jokes for Kids

Kids love a little bit of silliness, and these Monday jokes are packed with that wacky fun. They’re the perfect way to make the start of the week a little lighter and a lot funnier for younger ones!

Why do Mondays always look so grumpy? Because they have a case of the “blues!”
What did the broom say to the dustpan on Monday? “Let’s sweep this under the rug!”
What do you call a cow on Monday? A mooo-ning person!
Why did the computer go to sleep on Monday? It had a byte of a weekend!
What’s a Monday’s favorite game? Hide and Seek… because it always hides from fun!
What did the janitor say to the messy classroom on Monday? “Let’s mop this up!”
Why did the pencil break up with the sharpener on Monday? It felt too dull.
How does a dog get ready for Monday? By chasing after a weekend nap!
Why did the scarecrow love Mondays? Because it was outstanding in its field!
What did the moon say to the sun on Monday? “It’s your turn to shine!”
Why was the student eating lunch alone on Monday? He didn’t want to be “sandwiched” in!
What do you get when you cross Monday and a vampire? A frightful day!
Why couldn’t the bicycle make it on Monday? Because it was two-tired!
What’s a Monday’s favorite candy? “Lolly-odgy” because it loves to LOL!
Why don’t monkeys like Mondays? They’re too busy going bananas!
How do pigs feel about Mondays? They’re totally boar-ed!
Why did the orange sit down on Monday? Because it ran out of juice!
What did the kid bring to school on Monday? A “weekend warrior” report!
Why do Monday mornings make so much noise? Because they’re always crashing in!
What do you get if you cross Monday with a dog? A “barky” start to the week!
Why is Monday so cool? It’s always in “chill” mode.
What’s the most dangerous thing on Monday? A “weekend warrior” armed with coffee!
Why do bananas hate Mondays? Because they can’t peel themselves out of bed!
What does a clock say on Monday? “Tick-tock, let’s get this week started!”
Why don’t skeletons have Monday blues? They’re too busy staying in “bone” shape!
How do you make Monday less scary? Add a little ketchup and mustard!
Why did the cookie sit on Monday morning? Because it was too crumbly to stand!
Why did the tomato blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the best way to greet Monday? With a smile and a whoopee cushion!
What do you call a Monday morning that’s extra funny? A “pun-derful” day!

XII. Witty Monday Jokes for Mature

For those who appreciate a little more sophisticated humor, these witty Monday jokes are perfect. They might not be for kids, but they’ll certainly add a dash of cleverness to your week, ideal for grown-up chuckles and office banter.

Monday: because even life needs a good punishment.
Why is Monday like an unwanted houseguest? It overstays its welcome.
Mondays are proof that not all things are meant to last, thankfully.
Monday mornings are like a bad dinner date, awkward, forced, and full of regret.
Mondays should come with a resignation letter.
Why do Mondays feel like a dentist appointment? No one looks forward to them.
Monday is the universe’s way of saying, “Don’t get too comfortable.”
Why do I never trust Mondays? Because they always seem too shady.
Monday should be rewritten as “the day to cancel all your plans.”
Monday: the day my productivity goes to die.
Mondays are like taxes, you don’t want to deal with them, but you have to.
Why is Monday the adult version of a wet blanket? It just makes everything feel damp.
I tried to write a love letter to Monday, but I ended up with a complaint.
Monday makes a strong case for time travel.
Why do Monday mornings feel like a bad hangover? Because they drain your soul.
Monday should come with a “proceed with caution” sign.
Why did Monday get invited to every party? Because it ruins the fun every time.
Monday is like that annoying uncle who overstays his welcome at family gatherings.
Monday: when my productivity starts with a yawn and ends with an early nap.
I have a special relationship with Mondays, it’s called “avoidance.”
Monday mornings are what caffeine was invented for.
Mondays: when optimism meets a concrete wall of reality.
Monday makes me question all my life choices, again.
The best thing about Mondays is knowing it will eventually end.
Monday is the only day my coffee doesn’t judge me.
I gave Monday a second chance, and it still broke my heart.
Monday is the official day of wishing you could hit the “rewind” button.
Monday should be made optional, like exercise.
Mondays make me wish I could start the week on Tuesday.
The best way to survive Monday? Pretend it’s Friday and fake it till you make it!

XIII. Classic Monday Jokes That Never Get Old

Some jokes are just timeless, and these classic Monday jokes never fail to bring a smile or a chuckle. They’re simple, yet effective, making Monday a little easier to bear.

Why don’t some couples ever go out on Monday? Because they’ve already had a weekend together!
Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged!
What do you call a dog who works at a coffee shop on Monday? A bar-barker!
How does a coffee bean say goodbye on Monday? “See you latte!”
Why did Monday feel embarrassed? Because it was caught in the act of being too early!
Why did the man bring a ladder to work on Monday? He heard the job was “highly” recommended!
How did the calendar greet Monday? With a loud date night!
What’s a Monday’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener on Monday? “I’m feeling a little dull today.”
Why do Mondays make terrible comedians? They can never deliver the punchline!
Why don’t Mondays ever gossip? Because they’re always so predictable!
How do Mondays like to play cards? With a full deck of “back-to-work” jokes.
Why is Monday like a math problem? It never seems to add up!
How do you turn a Monday into a Friday? You pretend it’s a vacation day!
What’s a Monday’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a grind beat.
Why did the teacher love Monday mornings? Because she loved to “chalk it up” as a fresh start!
Why is Monday always late for work? It just can’t get out of bed!
What did one Monday say to the next? “We’re in this together!”
Why do Mondays need therapy? Because they suffer from weekend withdrawal!
What did the coffee cup say on Monday morning? “I’m feeling a little brew-tally honest today!”
What’s Monday’s favorite dessert? A mocha cake, of course!
Why is Monday so good at playing hide-and-seek? It’s always hiding behind a cup of coffee.
Why don’t Mondays like mornings? They’re always too early to be any good.
How do Mondays stay in shape? By running out of time!
What does Monday say when you call it out on its problems? “I’m just here to stir things up.”
Why don’t Mondays talk to Thursdays? They don’t want to rush into things!
What’s a Monday’s favorite exercise? Running late.
Why did the coffee break up with Monday? It was tired of the same old routine.
How did the weekend feel about Monday? It gave it a big sigh of relief.
Why is Monday like a diet? It always makes you feel restricted.

XIV. Hilarious Monday Jokes to Share with Friends

Looking for the perfect jokes to share with your friends and start the week with some laughter? These hilarious Monday jokes are sure to have your friends in stitches.

Why did Monday bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw attention!
Why don’t Mondays make good comedians? Because they always leave you hanging.
What did Monday say to the weekend? “I’m back to ruin your fun!”
What’s Monday’s least favorite hobby? Napping. It’s too “awake” for that!
Why did Monday get a promotion? Because it’s always “first” on the list!
How do you know when Monday’s been around? Everyone’s complaining!
What did one Monday say to the other Monday? “Let’s both be lame together.”
Why did the pencil break up with the eraser on Monday? It felt too erased.
How do you know Monday’s near? Your alarm starts screaming!
Why did the grape hate Mondays? It got squashed with all the work.
What do you call a morning person on Monday? An alien.
Why is Monday always so embarrassed? Because it knows it’s the least favorite day of the week!
How did Monday explain its behavior? “I’m just here to mess with you!”
Why is Monday like a clock? It never stops ticking and makes you tick off!
How do you make Monday better? Add a few jokes!
Why don’t Monday mornings ever want to hang out? They’re too “chill” to do anything.
What do you call a Monday that’s not feeling its best? A “Monday blues.”
Why does Monday hate public speaking? Because it stumbles through everything.
What did the coffee mug say to the Monday? “Let’s talk about something more interesting.”
Why was Monday so confused? Because it didn’t know what day it was!
How does Monday feel about compliments? It’s pretty indifferent to them.
Why don’t Monday mornings get invited to parties? They’re always so predictable.
Why did Monday bring a broom? To sweep away the weekend.
What’s Monday’s favorite workout? The treadmill of endless tasks.
How did Monday’s diary look? All the same, boring.
Why did Monday feel so self-conscious? It didn’t want to be left out.
What did Monday wear to the meeting? A tie, because it’s all business!
Why did the alarm clock hate Mondays? It knew it was fired up for no reason.
What’s Monday’s favorite workout move? The groan stretch!
Why does Monday always make a mess? It’s so disorganized!

Punny Monday Jokes to Make You Groan

Mondays are tough, but puns make them tolerable. These groan-worthy Monday jokes are so bad, they’re good, and perfect for adding some quirky fun to your start-of-the-week blues.

Mondays are un-bear-able without coffee.
I tried to make Monday jealous… but it’s emotionally week.
I donut want to talk about Monday.
Monday is like a math test, no one signs up for it.
If Monday had a face, I’d give it a resting grump look.
Mondays are the brie-st, because they’re totally cheesy.
I got Monday’d… it hit me like a freight pun.
Mondays are so extra, they even bring meetings.
I’m not saying Monday is the worst, but even Tues me would agree.
Monday’s my cardio, it really gets my heart sinking.
Monday’s motto? “Rise and whine.”
Mondays are like avocados, good for five minutes, then mushy.
I lost my weekend and Monday is the prime sus-day-ct.
My coffee and I are in a committed brew-lationship every Monday.
Mondays always latte to the party.
I had a Monday joke, but it just clocked out.
Mondays and I are not on the same page-turner.
Monday gives me the bitter blends, like decaf.
Can I unsubscribe from Mondays? Asking for a fri-end.
Monday’s the reason I suffer from caffiene and consequence.
My brain on Monday? Still on weekend mode.
I tried to find the bright side of Monday… but it was cloudy with a chance of deadlines.
Mondays are just the slow cooker of emotions.
I don’t carrot all for Mondays.
If Monday were a fruit, it’d be a lemon.
I donut understand why Monday exists.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for Monday to end.
I’m not lazy on Mondays, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Monday, please take a hike, preferably a long one.
When life gives you Mondays, make weak tea.

Laughable Monday Puns to Beat the Blues

Monday jokes are the best kind of terrible. They’re silly, pun-filled quips that help soften the blow of the weekend ending. Get ready to eye-roll and chuckle your way through these.

Monday is like a software update, always unwanted and buggy.
Mondays are the broccoli of the week, good for you, but no one likes them.
I’m booked solid on Mondays, with disappointment.
If Monday had a fan club, I’d be out of office.
Mondays are all about moan-day motivation.
Monday is the human version of getting a popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth.
I spilled coffee on Monday, it deserved it.
Monday was arrested… for disturbing the weekend peace.
Mondays are like toast, always burned.
I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed, Monday just pushed me.
Monday is like autocorrect, always ruining everything.
Monday stole my pillow privileges.
Why does Monday always want to crash the party?
If Monday were a meme, it’d be 404 fun not found.
Monday is the villain in my weekly soap opera.
My plans for Monday? Moping and coping.
Monday’s the original buzzkill.
Mondays are like old bananas, slippery and bruised.
I can’t Monday today. Please hold.
I’m just here for the post-Monday glow.
Monday is my alarm clock’s evil twin.
I don’t rise and shine, I grumble and stumble.
Monday’s love language is acts of inconvenience.
Monday’s my GPS to nowhere I want to go.
I need a break from the break… thanks, Monday.
Mondays are so slow, even my thoughts are buffering.
Monday is when dreams and alarms collide.
If Mondays came with a warning label, I’d still ignore it.
My idea of Monday motivation is calling in sleepy.
Monday’s tagline? Back again, uninvited.

Ridiculously Relatable Monday Puns

Let’s face it, Monday puns are painfully accurate. They speak the truth with a smirk. These Monday Jokes will make you laugh because they’re true.

Monday is the plot twist nobody asked for.
I was doing great until Monday said, “Surprise!”
Monday should come with a user manual.
Every Monday feels like déjà rude.
Monday stole my snooze button joy.
Monday and I are in a toxic relationship.
Mondays hit harder than my gym routine.
If Monday were a meal, it’d be cold leftovers.
Mondays give off serious resting glitch face.
Monday is the WiFi signal of the week, weak and unstable.
Mondays are what my nightmares look like… in real time.
If I had a dollar for every Monday, I’d quit on Tuesday.
Monday: the boss level of adulting.
If looks could kill, I’d glare Monday to ashes.
I wasn’t late today, Monday was early.
Monday always brings baggage and no snacks.
Monday’s motto? “Let’s stress them out!”
Mondays should be opt-in, not auto-renewed.
I asked for peace, Monday delivered chaos.
My Monday outfit is 90% wrinkles and regrets.
Monday came in like a wrecking meh.
Mondays are just Friday’s evil twin.
My mood every Monday? 404: Motivation not found.
Monday is basically a cliffhanger without the plot.
Monday threw shade, so I threw coffee.
I had a plan, then Monday rewrote the script.
Monday doesn’t come in peace, it comes with emails.
If Monday had a soundtrack, it’d be out-of-tune violin.
Mondays are my personality test failures.
My alarm and Monday are in cahoots.

Unexpectedly Funny Monday Puns

Sometimes the best laughs come from where you least expect them, like a case of the Mondays. These Monday Jokes bring out the silliness of a serious start to the week.

Monday’s my spirit animal, tired and confused.
I don’t hate Mondays, I just prefer every other day.
I treat Monday like a vampire, with garlic and suspicion.
Monday, you’ve got some nerve showing up again.
Monday is like a parking ticket, never welcome.
Mondays remind me of diet food, unsatisfying.
Monday is my weekly reminder that time is a scam.
My brain: “We got this.” Monday: “Plot twist!”
Mondays are where motivation goes to hibernate.
If Monday had a fan club, it’d be empty.
My Monday attitude? Snooze ‘til further notice.
I’m not saying Monday’s the worst, but it rhymes with nope.
Monday tried to high-five me… I left it hanging.
If Monday had an odor, it’d be burnt toast.
Mondays make me question my life’s WiFi connection.
I’m not ignoring you, it’s just Monday.
Monday always crashes the party without snacks.
I tried to love Monday… it ghosted me.
Monday’s like glitter, it sticks to everything.
Monday is the pothole of the weekly road trip.
Mondays are emotionally taxing without the refund.
My favorite Monday activity? Rewinding to Sunday.
Monday’s best friend is a low battery.
My brain’s running Monday like dial-up internet.
I told Monday to chill, it started snowing problems.
My coffee isn’t strong enough for this daylight robbery.
Monday is a never-ending plot twist.
Can we exchange Monday for store credit?
Mondays are not my type, I prefer quiet and chill.
Every Monday is like rebooting my bad decisions.

FAQ’s

What can I read to make the start of the week more fun?

You’ll love these Monday Jokes packed with laughs that make mornings easier and bring some humor to your start of the week.

Are there any funny lines to share at work on Mondays?

Absolutely, these Monday Jokes are perfect for work and guaranteed to bring chuckles to the whole office without missing a beat.

What kind of humor helps with the Monday blues?

Go with lighthearted Monday Jokes that lift your mood and turn that slow morning into something a little more fun and easygoing.

Can I share something funny with my family on a Monday?

Yes, these family-friendly Monday Jokes include laughs for everyone and are great for parents, kids, or anyone needing a smile.

Are there short and clean jokes for a quick Monday laugh?

Short and snappy Monday Jokes are right here to give you a fast laugh and help make your day feel less hectic.

Conclusion

Monday jokes are the best way to start your week with a laugh. Whether you’re in need of funny Monday jokes or looking for Monday jokes for work, they provide the perfect remedy for the Monday blues. These jokes can lighten the mood and make even the busiest day a bit more enjoyable.

From Monday dad jokes to jokes about Monday, there’s no shortage of humor to keep your spirits up. With so many Monday jokes to choose from, you can always find the right one to share with friends or colleagues. Funny Monday jokes are a great way to brighten up your day and make the workweek a little more fun. So, the next time Monday rolls around, remember to enjoy these Monday jokes to kick off the day with a smile!

Noah Alexander

Noah Alexander has been managing Deeznuts Jokes as an admin for 4 years. With strong experience in blogging, he keeps the site fun and well-organized.